Desperate Measures

"Hello. The Samaritans, can I help you?"

" Um, yes. Is it right you um promise umm er uh complete confidentiality?"

" Yes that's right, we .. "

"Well, it's Tony here - you know Tony Bliar and I just don't know who else to talk to ... I ....... I ,, um .... "

"That's all right Tony, take your time. I'm here for you ... to help by listening "

"Well the thing is I'm going to be outta work at the end of June. I live in a tied cottage in London. I hinted years ago that I'd soon be looking out for a new position - I thought they would beg me to stay on but they didn't - ... they didn't understand -I didn't really mean it.. I thought it would all get better and I'd be in the job for simply ages and ages. But they thought I really meant what I said! They should've known me better than that!! I still can't believe it. It's not as bad as everyone thinks - I know I've done all the right things - but no-one believes me anymore. I'm not the only one who knows that everything I've done was the right thing and that it was all for the best, the best for everyone. The man upstairs, well he'll be the final judge - and no - I don't think my little heart problem was a hint from him that maybe I was wrong. I know that all that lying and manipulation - I mean by others - was in the interests of us all against them - the OTHERS. Have you seen LOST? Well, anyway, they believed me yet again - just when I really didn't mean what I said. But I get confused sometimes about what I do or don't mean. I thought they wouldn't believe me any more and then they agreed with me and told me I would be leaving soon. I've had notice for months now that the job was going to be taken away from me - they say I'm no good at it anymore and need to make way for a better man. Dew'no I still can't believe that I'm gonna be outta me job at the end of June ........ "

"So, you're going to be made redundant and you're finding it hard to come to terms with?"

"Yes - and the thing is Cherry - my wife - hasn't got our new home ready yet so when I'm outta work the whole family have to move outta the tied cottage and we don't have the new place ready for us to move into. The builders have only just started on rebuilding it - it's a bit of a hovel at the moment - and we gotta knock two into one - I know from reading the blogs of theWife/Strife in the North that it is a horrendous road we have to travel "

"So, besides coming to terms with losing your job - you'll also have to live on a building site for a while?"

"No - Oh no! - we do have another home we can use but it's an even worse hovel - it's small and cramped and mean like the homes that ordinary people have to live in - but worse than that ..... gulp .... worse than that ..... we'll have to live off what little money Cherry can make and my pension which is only around £200,000 per year (index linked) but then even worse than that ..... GULP ... it's worse than that ....."

"You can tell me Tony, what's worse than that?"

"Well --the hovel - it's in the North -- and as everyone knows it's really grim up North"

Who Am I?

Have you ever woken from a deep sleep and wondered 'Who am I?'. Well I used to do that- a lot. Very disconcerting it is too. Sometimes I'd wake and my first thought was 'Who am I?' then 'Where am I?' closely followed by 'Who's that sleeping next to me?'.

Now I've led a very sheltered life. Old fashioned. I missed all the loose living of the 60's. If anyone offered me any drugs I didn't notice. Maybe due to my short sightedness and the vanity that prevented me wearing specs. I remember the phrase 'men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses'. Well if you don't wear them you don't see the passes being made. Maybe that was a saying sent about by fathers, trying to keep their little girls 'pure'. So apart from my sister when we were very young I have only shared a bed with my husband. So it is rather strange to wake and have to lie there gathering all my thoughts together as to 'who I am'. Must be awful [or liberating!] to have long term amnesia. Do you think we have lived before? Is it possible we could forget which life we are in now? I believe in re-incarnation. I'll come back to that later!