Steven Seagull Gang Bang

Steven Seagull is not selfish - he's invited his gang to join him. The raucous calls at 5.30 calling all his friends and lovers to join him in our apple harvest is enough to drive me to drink. But even I don't like the idea of cracking open a bottle at 6 a.m.

I'm wondering whether I could sneakily take a pot shot at him with an air rifle? I'm just worried that Google Earth might at that precise moment be overhead snapping my picture as I - in a tatty bright pink dressing gown - commit a seagull massacre. I'm not sure which would be worse - for all to see me in my tatty gown - like a bright pink sack of potatoes. Or to be caught and prosecuted for murdering gullible gulls.

Perhaps it will be easier if I plod uphill to the orchard and just collect up all the windfalls.

Steven Seagull

Bloody Steven Seagull woke me at 5.30 again today. He's taken to paddling in our birdbath. I couldn't figure out why he's so attracted lately to our garden. Then I saw him making off with a windfallen apple clenched betweens his huge yellow bill. I wonder how far he can fly without dropping it. Have visions of some unfortunate person being hit by a falling apple and having that Newton moment.

Spring is in the Air

Spring is in the Air .... all the birds and squirrels are busy seeking out and fighting over food and mates. The badger has upturned and broken 3 of my pots. I'll have to buy new pots now to house the huge hostas which are just about budding above the surface. Shame the badger is a protected species... they are always digging up the lawn, my shrubs or breaking pots. I'd break their necks given the chance ...