Family Fears

When I popped in to visit St Billy yesterday I saw that he'd written of his concerns re his granddaughter being a newly qualified driver. We are all too aware that the young don't seem to have a healthy regard of the dangers. They act as if they feel invincible. It reminded me of my own fears when my nephew just passed his test and was intending to drive to/from university. I could see it made sense instead of hauling all his dirty laundry home by train to have the use of his car. But suddenly for an 18 year old to go from minor pottering around town to driving on major routes and motorways didn't bear thinking about. To get some of my worries off my chest I penned him a letter:

"Dear Nephew

Enclosed are a couple of leaflets I picked up when we had a speaker talk to us recently [at the garden club] about the history of British woodlands. I’m not sure what exactly you are studying at University on 'Geography' but Pat said you would be interested in collecting information – so here they are! Now, in my day [yawn….] geography was all about maps, globes, countries, continents, rivers, hills and mountains and other geographical features that I may have missed out in the aforementioned list. Also about resources such as minerals etc. At least I can have a fair stab at pointing in the correct area of the globe when someone mentions some far and away foreign country. I also know where my hometown, yours and Southampton fit into a map of England – next time I see you I’ll have to test your knowledge and awareness of British towns/cities/rivers etc. – so be warned!

I was very pleased to hear you had passed your driving test – well done – but please [a bit of auntily nagging is now coming up] do take care. Whatever you do don’t drink and drive. Also try to drive carefully at all times. Remember there are some mad buggers out there who do daft things when you least expect them to. Also always leave plenty of s p a c e when pulled up behind another car. Some folk aren’t good at clutch control and at best will roll back and dent your front or at worst someone may hit you from behind and if you're too close to the one in front you end up becoming sandwiched. And finally, when driving allow plenty of space for unexpected idiots braking or turning with no warnings [don’t forget if you ever hit anyone from the rear you're at fault – no dispute allowed: regardless of whatever the daft idiot in front does – if you hit them from behind then you’re the guilty party]. And then your astronomically high insurance premium will soar to even greater heights.

I always quote the 2 second rule – this is where you watch the car in front pass a marker then recite “only a fool ignores the 2 second rule” (normal talking pace - no gabbling it) you should be able to say it all before you pass the same marker point. This means regardless of speed you are doing that the gap between you and car in front is adequate. May you have many, many happy and carefree years of motoring ahead of you – it can be fun – I enjoy driving but am always thinking of the risks. I am also thinking of taking the advanced motoring course – if I qualify it should help to lower the insurance premiums – speaking of which there is a short course called “Pass Plus” [I think it covers motorways etc] which may help you to do the same. Enough nagging!

I hope you are impressed by this fancy font – I’ve just started to do a course n calligraphy – I’d like to say this all my own work but I wont lie…. At the moment I’m practicing [or is that practising?] with a calligraphy pen - getting the angles right on various curves and zig zags – sheet after sheet – I get writers cramp. I hope to be proficient enough to do hand made Christmas cards this year – we’ll see.

Apart from writer’s cramp I also suffer from computer user’s mouse hand/shoulder (RSI), housemaid’s knee and mobile phone, texter’s thumb! Pat and I regularly pass short messages back and forth – heaven only know’s why – it would be cheaper to phone and use the landline. BT allow me to talk for 5.5p for a whole hour and here I am texting a short sentence and paying 12p for the honour – but it makes me feel young and trendy! It’s good though as had friends in South Africa last month (that’s towards the bottom half of the globe slightly to the right of us – in a geographer’s language almost south east – at least - I think that’s where it is) and they sent me a birthday text greeting. They’re young and trendy too even though 10+ years older than I. Talking of birthdays - thank you very much for the birthday card – I was very pleased to receive it.

With much love from your very proud Aunt. (by that I mean your Aunt who is full of pride of her nephew - even if he is unable to pin point the whereabouts of Southampton on a blank map of the UK)"

Then when I started to relax and get used to the idea of his driving around the country he took up a new hobby - sky diving . . . eek.

Gloom, Doom or Silly Verses

I met friends for coffee yesterday. One of our party was full of Gloom and Doom. He kept singing 'folkie songs', songs from the first World War and quoting gloomy poetry.The rest of us were trying to start the new year with a lighthearted atmosphere. To make everyone laugh I quoted:

"I went to the pictures tomorrow
And sat in the front row at the back

I fell from the pit to the gallery
And broke a front bone in my back"

I wanted to know whether anyone knew where it came from. The older members in our group looked blankly at me and said they'd never heard it before. One other, Jenny who is the same age as I, knew it. Neither of us know it's origins. I had wondered over the years whether it was something my father and uncle had made up to amuse us as children. But obviously not.

I also remember a bit more of nonsense verse and am not sure if it is connected to the first verse or a separate rhyme

"I went round a straight crooked corner
To see a dead donkey die
I pulled out my knife to shoot him
And he kicked me right in the eye "

I'm also groping around in my memory for another verse along the lines of "sixpence and a crooked house"? Does anyone remember them and any other similar rhymes.

More Moving Tales

MyMan has started to realise that I could be right. There are not many places around in east Devon where he is willing to move to. All the places we would enjoy living are hilly. We have lived on one hill or another for 35 years. He's not the only one to experience problems hill climbing. I'm OK walking up hill but have to go at a much slower pace than i used to. But my poor feet and ankles object to walking down steep hills. There is no way I would, or could, carry shopping uphill. We'd both love to move to a rural house again. But the recent health scares here with MyMan, and of friends problems, leads me to value the convenience of semi rural life.

We could explore other counties. But it takes a good 2 years to settle in a new environment. I don't think I could take the added stress of settling into a strange county, town or village. If we are to leave the area where we now live, then I still want to return to looking for a place to live in this district , near my family.

MyMan still is not keen. The video I'd made of a possible location with a small but convenient house on the market he thought looked 'too quiet'. He didn't think there would be much going on there! He wasn't keen on having a children's play area in the grounds as it 'would be too noisy'. It was green, full of trees, on the level, a short walk to the nearest village and close to transport links.

My sister thought if we lived there I would turn into a Stepford Wife. A nephew liked it and likened it to Legoland. I thought it neat, tidy and liked the idea of friendly community neighbourliness.

Pauline Prescott

Much has been written in various articles on Pauline Prescott since the nation heard her speak on her husband's TV special on the class system. I'm not a fan of John Prescott. It's only since I read so much about Pauline in the media I decided to watch the repeat of the programme to decide for myself. The press articles are absolutely spot on. She's wonderful. I'd love to pop in and have cup of tea and chat with her.

I consider myself working class. Well, my father thought of himself as working class and I am my father's daughter. Both my father and uncle were stewards in the merchant service. They joined at the age of 16 . To 'do their bit for the war'. They met during training on the training ship in Sharpness Docks, Gloucestershire. They always enjoyed reminiscing and regaling the younger generation with their tales of life at sea.

My father eventually met and married my uncle's sister. And my uncle married my father's sister. At a double wedding in 1948. A close knit family this marriage halved the number of aunts and uncles available to their offspring.

Unlike John Prescott the two of them were proud of their days at sea. I think Prescott gives working class people 'bad press'. Whatever his origins he's just full of envy, twisted bitterness and is lacking in self esteem. How he managed to win the hand of his 'fair lady' I'll never know.

Here and There

I am currently sitting in a Worthing hotel on the south coast. I've spent a week with my sister, seen nephews and niece and am about to visit an elderly aunt before I make the return trip home tomorrow. Last week with family was fun and gossipy but exhausting. I left the Croydon area at 10 yesterday morning and drove along with thousands of bikers down the A23/M23 towards Brighton. Apart from the sheer numbers of Bikers involved they all rode in a very considerate manner to other road users. I didn't realise how many differnt types and personal decorations one is able to get in the motor cycle world. Our builder who lives in Sidmouth is a biker. I kept expecting to meet him there. I didn't realise just how big an event it was until I checked the web. http://www.ace-cafe-london.com/Continental-Run-Info.aspx

http://www.ace-cafe-london.com/Reunion.aspx

I then enjoyed a quiet night in the hotel watching tv, reading and checking emails. I slept like a log for over 8 hours.

Now Swiftly Moving On . .

When I started this Blog I was very unhappy. Looking back I can see I was more depressed than I realised. Suffering from unresolved grief through many bereavements over a 3-year period. The loss of my 2 very old cats compounded that feeling of bereavement so severe I lost sight of myself for a while. It was only my recent attendance at two funerals that made me realise that I no longer feel emotionally overwhelmed. I still feel sad but it is no longer an all enveloping sadness.

I've been reading 'The Book of Happiness' . It is helping me to focus. It defined the difference in the feelings of sadness and unhappiness. "Sadness is a part of life and we experience it as a result of life's events . . ."! Well I have had plenty of those of the last few years. Ithas been energy sapping. Now I am trying to come to terms with those events and 'move on'.

To move on I need to make several changes. We moved into our present house [1999] from a larger 4 bedroom house. As it was a sudden move we didn't have time to de-clutter. We just packed up and moved with more stuff than we needed. We were going to expand into the roof here with a loft conversion. It was going to be my husband's home office. Suddenly our circumstances changed and he no longer needed a home office. We never did the loft conversion. Meanwhile the spare bedroom and garage held all his office papers, tax and VAT files, etc .

To move on we need to de-clutter. We have sold all the office furniture. My husband is slowly trawling through paperwork, archiving financial information and shredding personal client papers. It's a slow process. We also need to make a decision on life changes about where we will live out our retirement years. Home is very important to me. I need to feel settled, rooted, in order to regain my equilibrium. I love it here and so it adds to my feelings of sadness on thinking of leaving. But it is not suitable for our situation now. My husband now has a strong desire to move elsewhere. We just don't know where yet. It needs to be somewhere less hilly.

We are also trying to sort out a new car. Just normal activities but very time consuming and demanding. Especially when trying to make decisions with someone who doesn't feel at all able or capable of making decisions. I'm pressing on as I don't feel we can waste time. I've reached the age where time seems to gallop by at an alarming pace.

I've missed posting a regular blog. . . .. this is just a short note to let you know why I haven't had time to call by to meet up with you and chat at yours on a regular basis.

A Moving Dreamboat

We are still wondering whether to move. Now we are wondering whether to change area and move out of East Devon. We want a larger property. We still want rural seclusion. Having explored the towns of East Devon we are not really interested in moving into a town. We need to live close to facilities that older age and the need for regular medical appointments requires. We could do with some help to relocate and advice from the Channel 4 couple: Kirsty and Phil. In particular Phil. He could help me choose my next home anytime. Sigh. Extra heavy sigh ...

Having lived in Surrey, Kent, North London, Gloucestershire and then Devon I have no real strong roots. Part of me would like to move back to Sussex/Surrey to be near family. But then said family may up sticks and move, even to another continent. You can't rely on family nowadays. I wouldn't want to return to London. I didn't enjoy living there in the 1970s I should like it even less now. I've always had a pull towards the rural peace, quiet and tranquillity. I think it is my inherited genes coming out. Yesterday evening I found myself reading the road atlas of Great Britain. I found myself beginning to choose where we could move to. I lingered over Northumberland, or Yorkshire, or Derbyshire, even Wales - somewhere near Chester maybe? Choice - there is so much choice - how can I make a decision. Help me, please Phil.

A Welcome Break Away

As my man is feeling a bit better and more able to cope at home alone, I've arranged to go and visit friends (Suffolk coastal region) and family in London and on the south coast. To get ready for a visit to the big city - the first for over 2 years - I need to shop. First for some clothes. Second, to stock the larder with easy cook meals to keep my man going for 1-2 weeks. Now it could mean that I'll have other chores to do besides shopping and packing. I have to sort my route out to fit in all my visits (the AA route finder): update the SatNav as I don't want to be caught speeding in a strange area: re-schedule various appointments and diaried events. In other words I may be rather busy fitting everything in. Therefore may be blogging less for the next 3 weeks. Then again - they do have Internet cafes in the big smoke, so I may be able to log in and post an update. But I hope to be too busy - sharing bottles of wine and giggling with my sister/ friends. Too busy to even think of blogging. When I'm not busy wining, dining and giggling I'll be tramping parts of the London Loop with the dogs.

So if I go missing for a while you'll know why. I'll be back at base camp again the 2nd week in May with tales of adventure in the big scary world of the South east where:

• they stab you as soon as look at you
• where my sister will tell me off for speaking to strangers
• where she'll feel compelled to take me by the hand just to get across the road
• but where the driving is easier because no-one is able get above 15 mph
• where the drivers have better eyesight [unlike the drivers of Sidmouth - half of whom are driving around half blinded by cataracts.]
• but where I may be forced to forego the twice daily shower for one every other day due to the water shortage.

Inheritance Issues

Have I Been Here Before? Do you believe in re-incarnation? I think I may do. Apart from the usual feelings of Deja vu we are all inclined to experience at some times; when I was younger I used to have extremely strong feelings that are not so easily dismissed. As a young gal of 15 we had a family holiday in Somerset. At that age I was an eager reader of Georgette Heyer's books. So, of course, a trip to Bath was organised so that I could see the city, view the Royal Crescent, the Pump Rooms and the Roman Baths. And also to visit Bath Abbey. It was at this point I changed from the usual dreamy teenager following the adults. When it came to finding the Abbey and the Assembly Rooms I knew exactly where to go - I felt I had been here before. I unerringly led the family down the side streets until we were facing the main facade of the Abbey - and it looked just as I knew it would. Now I've either lived in the area in a 'previous life' or it is some form of 'inherited memory' from my genes. I started to research my family history a few years ago and found that my maternal great grandmother came from Timsbury which is only a few miles from Bath. My ancestors have strong links in the Somerset and Gloucestershire area. When we first moved to Gloucestershire I had a very strong sense of 'coming home'.

Apart from that experience I was also terrified when I was younger by aeroplanes flying overhead. When we were first married our home was a under a Heathrow flight path. If the wind was in the right direction I was often woken as I desperately tried to hide under the bed while a plane flew over. It made me wonder whether I had died previoulsy as a result of a bomb during the War. Or was it because my mother had experienced some frightening moments in London during the war that again this 'memory' was passed down to me via her genes, along with her grey-blue eyes?