Sunday, 29 June 2008

Now Swiftly Moving On . .

When I started this Blog I was very unhappy. Looking back I can see I was more depressed than I realised. Suffering from unresolved grief through many bereavements over a 3-year period. The loss of my 2 very old cats compounded that feeling of bereavement so severe I lost sight of myself for a while. It was only my recent attendance at two funerals that made me realise that I no longer feel emotionally overwhelmed. I still feel sad but it is no longer an all enveloping sadness.

I've been reading 'The Book of Happiness' . It is helping me to focus. It defined the difference in the feelings of sadness and unhappiness. "Sadness is a part of life and we experience it as a result of life's events . . ."! Well I have had plenty of those of the last few years. Ithas been energy sapping. Now I am trying to come to terms with those events and 'move on'.

To move on I need to make several changes. We moved into our present house [1999] from a larger 4 bedroom house. As it was a sudden move we didn't have time to de-clutter. We just packed up and moved with more stuff than we needed. We were going to expand into the roof here with a loft conversion. It was going to be my husband's home office. Suddenly our circumstances changed and he no longer needed a home office. We never did the loft conversion. Meanwhile the spare bedroom and garage held all his office papers, tax and VAT files, etc .

To move on we need to de-clutter. We have sold all the office furniture. My husband is slowly trawling through paperwork, archiving financial information and shredding personal client papers. It's a slow process. We also need to make a decision on life changes about where we will live out our retirement years. Home is very important to me. I need to feel settled, rooted, in order to regain my equilibrium. I love it here and so it adds to my feelings of sadness on thinking of leaving. But it is not suitable for our situation now. My husband now has a strong desire to move elsewhere. We just don't know where yet. It needs to be somewhere less hilly.

We are also trying to sort out a new car. Just normal activities but very time consuming and demanding. Especially when trying to make decisions with someone who doesn't feel at all able or capable of making decisions. I'm pressing on as I don't feel we can waste time. I've reached the age where time seems to gallop by at an alarming pace.

I've missed posting a regular blog. . . .. this is just a short note to let you know why I haven't had time to call by to meet up with you and chat at yours on a regular basis.


Mark Wadsworth said...

Is your present house the one with the super big garden (photo you posted a while back?) or have you moved since then?

lady thinker said...

Nice to see you Mark
Yes - that's our current garden and it takes fair amount of time - more than I have available nowdays ... it will be a wrench to leave itas i love it... but we are still here pending making a decision as to where we look next ... sigh

Mark Wadsworth said...

At least you can take the pot plants with you!

lady thinker said...

Yes - not to mention all my favourite hellebores I'd have to dig and pot up ready for a move ...

merry weather said...

Thinking of you Lady T! I've been catching up with your posts - and I am more than Jealous of that super garden!! Beautiful!

I'm wishing you the very best of luck in your transformation. I don't really know how it is for you - but for me this last year or so has been a time of great change.

In short, making the firm decision to change and moving forward with a happy heart and confidence was what did it for me. It looks like you've already done that. So Well done!

Hugs xx

sexy said...