Saturday, 19 July 2008

Penny Pincher

After a tightfisted 8 years living off our retirement capital I've become rather used to Penny Pinching. Perhaps I should change my blogging name to Penny Pincher. I could re invent myself. That's the beauty of the blogging life. But however much one tries to write as if this is a fictional account real life creeps in. It's hard to keep it out.

Over the last few months I've become much better off. It started last year with being granted, on compassionate grounds, my work pension several years early. I wasn't due to receive it till I was 65. Once my pension came in I was able to cash in my AVC pension. Finally I've been awarded a Carer's Allowance. With several months arrears. Such riches.

Just at the time the whole world appears to be going into financial meltdown I appear to be bucking the trend. Hooray.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Weighed Down

I feel weighed down and hardly have the energy to think of weight issues. I can see that some, well most, of my diet problems are caused by emotional eating. Stress, anger, frustration and sorrow all make me eat more than I need. I can see that I need to express or resolve these feelings.To find some way where food is not used as a comfort factor.

As it is I'd welcome a large glass of red wine this evening. I am upset and angry. I'm sure a glass would soothe me. But it would make me hungry and then I'd eat more. Life sucks.

Peace and Calm

No - this is definitely not a view of my garden. How I wish! These photos were taken of the garden at Burrow Farm, Dalwood, near Axminster in Devon.

Sunday, 13 July 2008

It's all in the Mind

I've been listening to Paul McKenna now for several days. The only problem is I fall asleep very quickly. I don't know if the 'mind programming' is working or not... I haven't heard any of them all the way through yet... I've copied the CDs onto an MP3 player. Now I can listen to the recordings lolling in the armchair after lunch - I still fall asleep though... I also have the P McKenna personal progress journal that I am religiously completing each day ... weigh day will be the 17th . . . fingers crossed.

A Stab in the Back

I see in yesterday's Daily Telegraph that Andrew Pierce wrote "Cabinet ministers are being subjected to so much abuse in the street ....." that they have talked informally about extending security cover to all ministers. They are afraid to go out in public, where they may have to cope with "an abusive drunk " or "slow hand clapping", without personal body guards. Well, we thought that a few weeks ago when we saw Harriet Harmless venturing out on to the streets of Peckham wearing a protective vest and surrounded by police protection officers.
How do they think the rest of us feel ?? It's a fine mess they have got us into and their solution is that we can pay more in taxes towards their personal safety! It rather reminds me of Tony Blair telling us that we will 'not let terroists change the way we live' as he built a concrete crash barrier around the Houses of Parliament and ordered himself a bullet and bomb proof car.

Friday, 4 July 2008

Return Journey

I am making a return journey. A return back to the woman I used to be. I used to be confident, positive, happy, relaxed, neatly dressed with well manicured hands and make up. And slimmer. Much slimmer.

I've always liked to wear my clothes on the loose side so as the excess weight crept on I just filled out my clothes more. I hadn't noticed just how much until Christmas when I couldn't squeeze into my festive outfits. That made me pause for thought and weigh myself. What a shock. I started to re think and go back to healthier habits. I started to lose weight. But then life events got the better [or the worse] of me. Again to have to think about food and preparation became the last thing on my mind. I just piled on the pounds I'd managed to shed.

Then a few weeks ago I decided that although my husband has health issues I really did need to sort myself out. I've decided to work on one thing at a time. To change one habit at a time. to re-introduce myself to me. To find out who I am again rather than being 'just' a wife and carer.

I decided to let many of the household chores go. To save time for myself to enjoy life. First was to start to learn to play Bridge. Second was to grow my nails, to manicure my ragged cuticles and start to wear nail polish. Now I am working on my weight problem. However, this time I am not on a diet. I already eat a healthy diet. But I think that with the stress and depression I have been eating without thinking. I have been eating too large portions. I am trying to see whether Paul McKenna can do as he says. I have bought the book and studied the rules. I will try my best. I will let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Sod's Laws

It's Sod's Law that :
[1] the young don't want to stop for sleep, feel full of energy, but sleep as if poleaxed for 12 +hours
[2] the oldies want to sleep, feel perpetually tired but feel grateful if they manage more than 4 hours deep sleep
[3] it rains when you've just watered the garden and all the containers
[4] it fails to rain for weeks if you've just sprinkled powdered weed n feed on the lawn
[5]the house gleams, smells of polish, is tidy but no one calls
[6] the house looks like Steptoes' junk yard with thick dust every where and unexpected visitors drop in for a 'surprise' visit.

That's life I suppose ....