Flowers Speak Louder Than Words

A small bunch of flowers (an intimate close up of a pelargonium) for all my friends who drop in to see whether I've posted an entry or not. I'm sorry, I'm still suffering from disturbed nights due to the full moon and am too tired to think. I actually fell asleep at 6.30 this morning and didn't rise till 9.30 so my whole day has been out of sync. It's been very quiet on the blogging front as so many seem to have gone to ground so too speak. It's a great shame that I am unable to muster some mind blowing phenomenal blog entry to capture all the refugees from such places as 'Strife in the North'. If only I could get my act together I could have readers by the thousands. As it is I think I'll soon be wending my weary way to bed. Goodnight All and I Love You"

The Niceties of Life

I had a lovely message left for me from teeni at the beginning of August. It's taking me a while to sort out a few new bloggers to whom I would like to pass on this award. Most people have either already received the award or are away - well - they've not posted any entries for a couple of weeks. So I'll postpone nominations until September,

Dog Days

Fearing the Worst

My post on Fear and Grief the other day set me to thinking about how and why I often 'waste' time - worrying over the 'what if' scenarios. I am always prepared for the worst to happen. This can be an annoying and a stressful waste of time. But I have been told that I am good in an emergency. People like having me around as they feel I am a calming influence. I keep a cool calm head when all about me are in a panic. I don't panic. I'm decisive. I quickly gather the facts and decide what line of action to take. Because I've been there - in my imagination. Thought the worst. Worked out how best to deal with it. I have had practise. Even if I feel the fear too I don't show it. Deadpan Annie, that's me.

I remember once when MyMan was late home from work. A 200 mile drive. Our young 12 year old niece was visiting. She and I had a film video on. Something she found really absorbing. But I found it scary. So I avoided watching some of the time. I averted my gaze from time to time. Looked out the window every now and then. Saw a police car pull up outside. A Policeman and a Policewoman. This was in the days when WPC's were sent out to pass on the bad news or to help mothers and/or children in distress, domestic cases. I was sure they had come to tell me BAD news. Sure that MyMan had been involved in an accident. I left the room to put the kettle on and get the tea things out of the cupboard. I knew they would want me to have a cuppa for the shock. I didn't like to think of them having to forage for everything for themselves in a strange kitchen. I am thoughtful of others feelings.

I'd made the pot of tea and still no knock at the door. I started to plan how to care for niece. How to get to the hospital if MyMan was in fact a survivor. I also started to make long terms plans if I was now a widow. Well, by long term, I mean the funeral and what to wear. Still no knock at the door so I had a peek through the window again. Saw then they were inspecting a newly built house just down the road. They did in fact buy it. Mr and Mrs PC moved in to become neighbours a few months later.

I returned to the film and enjoyed the pot of tea. Wondering when my travelling husband was going to get home for supper. At least nowadays mobile phones help us to keep in contact with reasons for late arrivals.

Time for a Laugh

It's coming up to the full moon again - so I'm having problems sleeping. I trawl blogs. And find this which I thought most amusing - " Friday Funny" do click and read - it's very short.

Long Tanned Limbs

As our summer has been such a wash out there is not an iota of me that has that sun kissed healthy tan look. I don't sunbathe but do try for 20-30 minutes a day to ensure I'm getting my quota of sun to make the vital vitamin D. I don't want rickets at my age.
I usually have a kind of slight brown [freckly] pink colour rather than an all over golden glow. But to have to bare my milk bottle white legs was, I thought, far too embarrassing to contemplate. So I bought one of those moisturisers that give the skin a faintly golden tan. I have very dry skin so need to moisturise daily. Therefore the application would fit conveniently into my almost non-existent beauty regime. I chose the fair to medium colour. I knew I wouldn't fool anyone if I suddenly turned conker brown overnight. I was hoping for a long tanned limb look. What I have ended up with are vertical stripes. I'm hoping the illusion will make my legs look slimmer.
I may try again next week with a different product. as this one sounds fool proof.

Only Mad Dogs...

As that old song by Noel Coward goes 'Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen Go Out in the Mid Day Sun'. That's why as this is the hottest day we've had for a while I have 'retired' indoors for an hour or two. Here';s something I prepared earlier this mroning..

I couldn't wait to share my first [and probably last attempt] at poetry.

Rose Tinted Specs And Reality.

Bright blue sky

Balmy breezes brush my skin

I admire the scene

Of long shadows

And sparkling dewy diamonds

On the early morning grass.

Peace and contentment

I fill my senses.

Shatteringly calmness

Is broken.

Utter silence and stillness

Motionless birds

Become petrified statues

When overheard the harsh cry

Of circling buzzards

An Apple A Day .......

They say "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". Part of a nursery rhyme or an early English old wives tale. It is traditionally a remedy for constipation. A way to ensure the required intake of various anti oxidants and vitamins and fibre.

Another daily task that would be good for us, is to take time to count our blessings or to think of 3 Beautiful Things. The 3BT rule. I wrote a posting recently on this theme after I had found Clare's original site called 3BeautifulThings.

Today:

1. the smell of freshly mown grass and damp earth as I worked in the garden
2. the warmth of the sun and the sound of birdsong as I sat enjoying the peace of the garden
3. picking rosy red Discovery apples, their scent evoking childhood memories. A better crop than I was expecting as the apple trees have been rather neglected this last year or two.

Guest Blog Spot

Well the Vital Statistics prize winning blogger, Vichchoobhai, has been on the top of my side bar for nearly a month now. I rather like the idea of keeping that site reserved for random 'Guests'. To be refreshed and renewed on a monthly cycle. A kind of Bed and Breakfast Blogroll. I just have to decide now how to pick such guests for the slot. I will try by seeking previously unknown [to me] bloggers who leave a comment. And then make a choice from these new sites each month. So if you are a blogging reader but don't usually leave a comment please do so. I wouldn't be looking for a reciprocal link. It's just as a means to widen the circle of interesting blogs. Meanwhile, as I have enjoyed reading Vich's blog I have 'promoted' him to a permanent link on my blogroll. I like his sense of humour.

Fear and Grief

From where does the fear of loss come? What comes first? The fear or the feeling of loss which then sets up the fear? When do we first experience the concept of grief and loss? I can remember as a quite young child (about 6yrs) contemplating the grief I would leave behind if I died. I wept for my poor sad parents.as I imagined them coping without me. I obviously started 'thinking' at an early age. In the event it was my mother's death when I was just turned 16 yrs old that was my first experience of loss and bereavement. But maybe when I was about 3 yrs old I had picked up the awareness of grief from my mother after the death of my maternal gt grandmother.

Over these last 5 yearsI have had several losses. One after another. Each loss reminds me of previous losses. Until my whole body feels as if it is one huge receptacle of sadness. The last two were our much loved cats. The first Cagney, almost 2 years ago, followed by his 'wife' Lacey just a year ago. We had them both as 8 week old kittens from separate litters. They were almost 20 years old when they died. Our dog also; we still grieve, many years later. Our pets were our 'children'. Now I am an empty nester.

What set me thinking down this path is the latest posting from the Wife in the North. Wifey isn't the only "fright filled soul". My fears now - are over suffering any more losses of my nearest and dearest. My widowed sister who, if I've not heard from her for 12 hours, I become convinced is lying dead at the foot of the stairs. Nephews and nieces living in the City (prone to possible terroists attacks) or travelling on a gap year (terroism, natural acts of God and plane crashes) or partaking in adrenaline sports activity. All fill me with dread and anxiety.

Astrology

One of the comments left on my last post asked me what my 'Rising Sign' was - I had no idea what Merri meant. So I had to seek the information. I now know that I'm Pisces: Moon sign in Capricorn: Rising sign is either Aries or Taurus (born 8 a.m ' ish ) I think from the description I gleaned of bodily appearance and nature I'm inclined to believe my rising sign is Taurus. It doesn't sound as athletic as Aries which is "A strong muscular body, often accompanied by an athletic build with square shoulders, is characteristic of Aries Rising. Your face is clear-cut & forceful, & you could have a longish head, wide at the top but with high forehead & pronounced cheekbones. Your eyes are direct &piercing." This is definitely not me;

But Taurus on the other hand is so like .. "You're level - headed, with your feet firmly on the ground - so much so that not even an earth tremor could disturb your composure. A whiff from the kitchen is more likely to attract your interests, (Ha!) as you are essentially a sensuous creature. Your languid limbs speak of your need to take life easy. Your love of comfort is second only to your love of money & the pleasures it can provide. You enjoy savoring a moment & dislike being rushed. You could be quite routine- oriented. Others may see you as leisurely, introverted & affectionate, but you could come across as being lazy, greedy & dogmatic. You are all determined & stable, someone who has patience to accomplish what you set out to do. Your best trait is your steadfastness; your worst is your stubbornness. (Oh dear - it's so true - alas)

A solid, stocky body, often with a sturdy neck, is characteristic of Taurus Rising. Your head is usually round, but your squarish jaw line tends towards fleshiness (I think this refers to my double chin). Alternatively, Taurus Rising can also have a chiseled, delicate appearance. Your kind eyes appears almost cowlike in their tranquility. Your thick hair is soft & often curly. (very true - it's even curlier in this wet weather) You may have a small nose that turns up at the end. The skin of your face is soft & creamy; a dimple may emphasize your sensual nature. " (Yep, there is a dimple)

I then checked out the free chart facility at Astrolabe . where it appears quite certain my rising sign is Aries. It is here that I found the free print out is quite amazingly accurate - a warts and all interpretation. I did identify with a great deal of my good and bad characteritics. It will be interesting to see what My Man makes of the 4 page print out. I'm off to have a look at his chart now!

Copyright

I've been looking for a photo that I could use for my profile for several weeks now. I looked at an old school pictures. Fuzzy photos of me as a child on the beach or at Christmas. I even considered using a picture of my cat. I also searched high and low on the web for an image of a female version of The Thinker. But I just didn't feel happy with any of them representing me on the blog circuit. So I explored my star sign. Pisces. Dolphins, Trout and Koi. I saw gold and silver fish as jewellery. Many artists representations. Nothing suited UNTIL I found the image below. It is now posted on my profile page.
I'm not au fait with copyright over images that an artist has uploaded to a website so I've emailed the artist and requested permission to use it as such. I don't know what I'll use if she's not happy with the idea. So fingers crossed. I think it is the most beautiful expression of Pisces [with our complicated dual personality] in a watery environment that I've ever seen.

Compulsive Reading

It's compulsive reading each day. To turn on and log in to Sitemeter. To check whether anyone has read your latest postings. What a thrill goes through you when you see that someone from Australasia checked into your blog and spent 70 minutes with you. 70 minutes! One hour, ten minutes. Great - I must have struck a chord with someone. Then the thought comes. That maybe, just maybe, they had to go off to visit the bathroom, answer the phone and/or get tea for the family and didn't log out! Thank goodness for the kindly souls who take time to leave a comment. At least then you know that someone read it.

But wait - a closer examination of the statistics on the site and you see that during Australasia's 70 minute visit, Aussie blogger looked at 16 pages. 16 pages. That many? I didn't know I'd written so much.

Roll That Ass

"Remember", he said, "All you have to do is blow. And Roll your Arse. Can you do that?"

"I think so. - But I'm not sure why I have to roll my arse?"

"No" he said - "Roll your RRRRs - while you're blowing"

Ah!

I'd just bought a wooden pipe from a street trader at the Sidmouth Folk Festival. A pipe, or whistle, that imitated a blackbird singing. He'd made it look so easy. It sounded very realistic. A deep breath. A long blow and pull the end of the bird flute in and out. But apparently I had to be sure and roll my RRRRs at the same time. I never did get the hang of it. However much I rolled my arse.

Colour Prejudice

Yep - I have to admit it. Hands up. Fair cop. I am colour prejudiced. I can't help it. I try to be politically correct and all that. I KNOW it's the person rather than the colour but....

I have often read the Swearing Mother's blog. I like what she says. I enjoy many postings when I do drop in. But I am so sorry. I just cannot stand certain shades of green. My eyes are always first and foremost drawn to the peachy/pink/red/mauve side of the colour spectrum. Even at the opticians when he asks me which is the clearer; the circle on the red or the green background? I have real trouble deciding. I so love the red. We get there - eventually.

I love the various greens of nature. And have many evergreen shrubs in the garden. In fact I've several plants grown just for their green flowers. So why this difficulty with pages on books, colours of cars, clothes, interiors.? Thinking about, it I'm OK with colours up to the blue range. But Yellow also is not really my 'thing'. Apart from daffodils in spring. I'm slowly removing all the yellow flowering shrubs from our garden. Orange is OK.

I'm sure that somewhere there will be a test to find your personality via colour choice. Yes there is and having completed it - guess what colour personality I am? Well I never would have guessed. Try it out for yourself. Updated NB 15th August - If you compete the questionnaire you don't have to complete the form at the end - let it compute your answers then if you look carefully you will eventiually see at the top of the page a yellow box to click to "View Results".

Spots Before the Eyes

It's been another bright sunny day. While enjoying the warmth I took a leisurely browse around the local garden centre. I was trying to decide whether to buy another garden bench. Reduced by £30. I like a bargain. I was trying to decide whether to spend £120 in order to save £30. While I was trying to justify this saving I started to see a dark spot in my vision. At first I thought it was from the sun - dazzle. It would disappear then re-appear. It was most annoying. Then I realised I was probably starting a visual migraine. That decided it. I would save my money and drive home while I still had some sight left. Then lie down in a darkened room to recover. The drive home was uneventful. But I still had the on/off spot in my vision. It wasn't till I took off my sunglasses that I saw I had a money spider hanging over the frame. I thought money spiders were supposed to be harbinger of increased fortune. I suppose it was as in a way I was £120 richer than I thought I'd be on my retun home.

Women Drivers

I've just been reading blog posting on Scale and Proportion - where AMKT mentioned spatial awareness and the male v female driver competition " the rare occasions they are better at something than we are ............. ..... women having no spatial awareness." I take issue with this. I don't think men are better drivers than women. I would challenge a male any day. They may be more aggressive, more impatient and like to drive faster. They often overtake despite my driving up to the speed limit. But we all end up at the traffic lights or the next roundabout together. And I with my slower more consistent, considerate pace cruise up to the junction just as the gap in the traffic is clear and am able to sail on majestically while the male road hog is still busy engaging the right gear to shoot across the junction very FAST.




I can and do park perfectly - right in the middle of the white lines in car parks - facing forward ready to leave. Able to drive off immediately the engine has fired. When reversing I have to use both wing mirrors only as I have a stiff inflexible neck/back so am unable to twist around in that macho male way with my arm gripping the passenger seat head restraint while reversing. In fact I have been congratulated on my precision at parking. Sometimes by a male driver - so they can't all be boorish road hogs I admit. When driving down roads with cars parked on either side other drivers sit and wait for me to manoeuvre around them - so obviously they don't trust their spacial awareness. 9 times out of 10 they are male drivers sitting there hugging the left kerb as tightly as possible with a space large enoughto be able to drive a bus through.

As I said I have stiff neck and back. This probably from the number of accidents I have endured at the hands of male drivers. Each time I've been blame free. Honestly. Twice by lorry drivers. Three times I've been hit from behind. The most recent (18 months ago) while I was stationary waiting for a gap in the oncoming traffic before I could turn right off the road. The conditions were wet and slippery. The driver told me "I'm a professional driver" and "have you seen the condition of the roads today?" - well yes I have - but I stopped in time and although I had to sit there waiting for a gap before I could move for several minutes on a clear stretch of road, he assumed he could stop in time but he couldn't and didn't. So his spatial awareness was well and truly up the creek. Along with his judgement on a suitable speed according to the conditions of the wet, greasy road. I wished I'd reported him for driving without due care and attention. A witness wanted to call the police. But although shaken I felt OK at the time so didn't think it necessary. I just hope he learnt his lesson. I still have stiff neck and shoulders from the whiplash after this latest event. My car was off the road for 3 months. I had to screw up my courage to do the journey in April. I crawl along behind lorries for mile after mile as I now longer trust them behind me.

Before that accident I'd been shunted from the rear twice on separate occasions. At roundabouts. Neither man could stop in time. I didn't hit the fool in front [MALE] who suddenly stopped - so why couldn't they behind me?! They were obviously driving far too close to me for either their ability to react or their car's brakes to cope. I'm thinking of getting a 4x4 with BIG wheels and bull bars in future.


Male drivers often take up the point that the car manufacturer's miles per gallon or miles per litre - do not reflect real driving conditions. I expect the figures are taken after a female test driver has put the car through it's paces. So I take the figures as gospel.

The other day we had to stop suddenly at a mini roundabout. Full of paranoia and guilt I looked in my rear view mirror. I'm not sure who tooted who - or why. The young man in front assumed it was me and shot across the white painted island.He started to wave his fist at me out his window. There was no way I could respond. He carried on gesticulating wildly. At one point practically hanging out of the driver's window as he went around the next roundabout giving me lovely two fingered gestures that had nothing to do with Victory. It made me giggle which enraged him even more. When we came to a parting of our way I blew him a kiss. I don't think he appreciated it. If he carries on like that he'll have aheart attack before he's 30.

Inspirational Blogger Award

Belatedly as I was presented with this award several days ago I would like to pass on the award for Inspirational Blogger to the following five celebrated Bloggers.

1. 3Beautiful Things - for reminding us that however hectic life is we should remember to count our blessings
2. Poetess - for bright pictures and poetry on a lively site
3. Jenny's Corner - for sharing her life - with books - with us
4. Tine's Blog - beautiful photos - interesting
5. Cal's blog - for blogging for so long

I Think Therefore .. ...

Merry Weather of the Merry Daze has very kindly nominated me for a Thoughtful Blogger Award. It is very kind of her. I am proud to accept it.

I would like to nominate the following 5 as being welcoming and thoughtful hosts when you visit their blog.

1. Mopsa of Ramblings was the first blogger to welcome me into the community via the comments section - in the days when I was very much a newbie, floundering around and still trying to figure out how blogging, and chatting worked.


2. Flowerpot Days - for always taking time out of a busy schedule to be welcoming


3. 'Clever Dick' - Richard Madeley for despite being famous is down to earth and very earthy. He has an amazing wealth of knowledge which he graciously passes on to all and sundry - high and low. He tries to connect very much with his audience. Is very touchy feely. And is not embarrassed to be in touch with his feminine side.


4. Rachel from North London - who during an incredibly trying time and also busy time with her book launch[Out of the Tunnel] still took the time out to acknowledge all messages left on her blog.


5. Vichchoobhai for sharing his experiences as a carer ...
   

I hope you will all accept your award and then nominate 5 fellow bloggers in your turn.

Bloggers Wakes Week

There have been so many missing members of my blogosphere that I've had to go out and seek some new friends. I get the feeling that August is the bloggers version of Wakes Week. But for those of us bloggers who already live in a holiday area by the seaside - there is no rest. I hope you are all having a lovely time. Especially for those in grim the north. Wish you were here.

Virtual Pet

How about this for a well trained dog. And when you have tried out all the usual doggy commands such as speak, stand, fetch, play dead and any others you can think of. You can ask it for a kiss but only right at the end.

Sidmouth Folk Festival Wednesday

I went to Sidmouth this morning to meet friends for a coffee. Normally I would enjoy a stroll along the Esplanade. Coffee with friends , then do the bank and the shopping afterwards. Followed by a swift journey home again. Fun, quiet and peaceful. Relaxing.

But this morning I also had to wait for MyMan to have an XRay in the town's hospital. He wasn't due to finish with the hospital till noon. High Noon in Sidmouth during Folk Festival week. During Festival Week Sidmouth town is a place where you most definitely don't want to be. Not unless you want to partake of the Festival atmosphere. But to try and get out of town when the world and his wife with their 4 shrill children in large 4x4's are trying to get in and parked is HELL. The roads of Sidmouth were built for another age. Pony and trap days. Not nose to tail 4x4's with people who are more used to driving them down the wide roads of the Home Counties. 4x4's driven by folk who appear unable to turn a sharp left corner without swerving far over to the right before they attempt the turn left. Sidmouth roads do not have the space to do that. You should drive slowly and work the steering wheel very quickly and hard. There were many prangs, bumps and scrapes. Inconsiderate parkers who blocked the roads added to the general frustration and road rage incidents. A small town invaded by big city people. Everyone will breathe a sigh of relief when they all return to their city and take their bad manners and ways with them.

Foot and Mouth

I think it's dreadful that the farming community have to be worrying about Foot and Mouth outbreak again. And the poor farmers have had to endure postings from the Govt Chief Veterinary Officer Debbie Reynolds. Having said, that when I read the symptoms I'm a bit concerned that's what I'm suffering from - not hay fever after all. I'm not saying here that I am bovine.

I've collected my new orthotics and have been told to wear them in, slowly and gradually. They feel so comfortable I don't want to take them off. But I have old muscles and ligaments which will have to adjust to the new positioning of my feet/ankles/legs/ hips and so on - ad infinitum.

I also feel sorry for our new PM. Just started a holiday in Dorset and this latest crisis. Talk about a baptism of fire. I'm just so relieved we haven't had to cope with touchy, feely, gulping bravely , stiff upper lipped, Tony Blair.

Meanwhile lets just keep our fingers crossed for all the farmers that this is soon sorted and resolved as quickly as possible.

Those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer

Summer Days are still with us. So is the lazy hazy crazy days of summer ..... So is Hay Fever. I've spent the last 5 days zonked out from taking 'non-drowsy' antihistamine and de-congestant pills. My eyelids are so sore and swollen I look as if I've been in the ring with Henry Cooper. Hay Fever is not helped by weeding. Neither does it help that the decorators have painted all the outside woodwork. The smell of paint fumes are overwhelming in the heat. I am also afflicted with paint poisoning. When I'm not in a drug induced haze - I'm to be found on the throne in the smallest room.

I've been awarded 2 awards. But apart from gallantly dragging myself from my drug induced stupor to collect them - I have yet to thank my sponsors and to pass on my nominations.