Saturday, 19 May 2007

Desperate Measures

"Hello. The Samaritans, can I help you?"

" Um, yes. Is it right you um promise umm er uh complete confidentiality?"

" Yes that's right, we .. "

"Well, it's Tony here - you know Tony Bliar and I just don't know who else to talk to ... I ....... I ,, um .... "

"That's all right Tony, take your time. I'm here for you ... to help by listening "

"Well the thing is I'm going to be outta work at the end of June. I live in a tied cottage in London. I hinted years ago that I'd soon be looking out for a new position - I thought they would beg me to stay on but they didn't - ... they didn't understand -I didn't really mean it.. I thought it would all get better and I'd be in the job for simply ages and ages. But they thought I really meant what I said! They should've known me better than that!! I still can't believe it. It's not as bad as everyone thinks - I know I've done all the right things - but no-one believes me anymore. I'm not the only one who knows that everything I've done was the right thing and that it was all for the best, the best for everyone. The man upstairs, well he'll be the final judge - and no - I don't think my little heart problem was a hint from him that maybe I was wrong. I know that all that lying and manipulation - I mean by others - was in the interests of us all against them - the OTHERS. Have you seen LOST? Well, anyway, they believed me yet again - just when I really didn't mean what I said. But I get confused sometimes about what I do or don't mean. I thought they wouldn't believe me any more and then they agreed with me and told me I would be leaving soon. I've had notice for months now that the job was going to be taken away from me - they say I'm no good at it anymore and need to make way for a better man. Dew'no I still can't believe that I'm gonna be outta me job at the end of June ........ "

"So, you're going to be made redundant and you're finding it hard to come to terms with?"

"Yes - and the thing is Cherry - my wife - hasn't got our new home ready yet so when I'm outta work the whole family have to move outta the tied cottage and we don't have the new place ready for us to move into. The builders have only just started on rebuilding it - it's a bit of a hovel at the moment - and we gotta knock two into one - I know from reading the blogs of theWife/Strife in the North that it is a horrendous road we have to travel "

"So, besides coming to terms with losing your job - you'll also have to live on a building site for a while?"

"No - Oh no! - we do have another home we can use but it's an even worse hovel - it's small and cramped and mean like the homes that ordinary people have to live in - but worse than that ..... gulp .... worse than that ..... we'll have to live off what little money Cherry can make and my pension which is only around £200,000 per year (index linked) but then even worse than that ..... GULP ... it's worse than that ....."

"You can tell me Tony, what's worse than that?"

"Well --the hovel - it's in the North -- and as everyone knows it's really grim up North"

8 comments:

TB said...

It's not £200 thou a year - to be precise it is around £115 thous plus for 'expenses' £90thou approx.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Oh, how horrific. The poor man ...

Anonymous said...

Did you see 'the poor man' also tried a short break away in Eye Wrack yesterday and they sent bombs in before and after his visit. They missed him. Will anyone else miss him?

rilly super said...

the local council put a plaque on the Dun cow pub to mark TB meeting george Bush there. They got the date of the meeting wrong, misspelt our great leader's middle name and spelt 'Dun Cow' with two Ns. A shocking slur on the great man. All that 'education education education' is wasted on some.

The thinker said...

I'm left wondering what out great leader's middle name is .... and how it was misspelt .....

The thinker said...

I've just checked it out - I kept on thinking it was Aloysious - but that of course was for Tony Hancock. My mind is boogling as to which name was misspelt and just how??

rilly super said...

they spelt lynton with an 'i' I seem to recall

The thinker said...

How sweet ... surprised it wasn't with a big 'I'.